Simple Prayers

"On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, 'They have no more wine.'"  (John 2:1-3)


As a mother of three sons, Mary's relationship with Jesus intrigues me.  There are not a lot of details of his growing up years.  There's his birth, his dedication, his foray into the temple.  And then there's this simple, yet worldchanging story of attending a village wedding with his mom.


I love to imagine him there.  Eating the wedding feast.  Singing the songs of blessing over the couple.  Dancing to the music of celebration.  Toasting the new family's prosperity.


And then, this interruption.  The moment his mother comes to him and quietly whispers her prayer.


Because that's what it was.  A request for him to move, to act, to intervene in the natural unfolding of events with the force of the supernatural.  And I love that what moved Mary's heart to seek out Jesus wasn't to save the life of someone choking on a lamb bone, but rather to save a neighbor family from embarrassment.  She knew that running out of wine would mark the family with shame in front of the entire village, and being sensitive to those who live in shame, she simply caught Jesus' attention and said five words.

That's it.  One simple phrase.  "They have no more wine." 

There wasn't a long drawn out explanation or a detailed description of what she wanted him to do.  Just a sentence that defined the need and communicated the complete trust she had in him to make any decision that needed to be made.

And I 've come to believe that is the exact way my own prayers work best.  My prayers seem to be the most effective when I refrain from telling Jesus exactly how He should meet my needs or giving Him all the reasons why I have the need in the first place.  They seem to produce the most fruit when I simply catch his attention and whisper the equivalent to, "I have no more wine."  My simplest statements  are the ones that speak of complete dependence on who He is and my complete trust that His decisions are enough.  It's when I feel the need to explain, to beg, to tally up the words like points on a scoreboard that I find my faith in both His goodness and sovereignty is wavering. 

So, again Mary becomes a role model.  An example of presenting the need and trusting that He hears.  But, she also does one more thing.

"'Woman, why do you involve me?' Jesus replied. 'My hour has not yet come.' His mother said to the servants, 'Do whatever he tells you.'" (John 2:4-5)

She not only brought the need to His attention.  She readied the environment around Him for obedience.  She prepared the way for Him to move by aligning herself and those she had influence over in agreement with whatever command He might give after her one sentence prayer.

She prayed and she obeyed.  And it made all the difference.

"Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.  Jesus said to the servants, 'Fill the jars with water'; so they filled them to the brim.  Then he told them, 'Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.'  They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, 'Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.'"  (John 2:6-10)

More Than Getting Older

My pastor husband made me ask myself a startling question in his sermon on Sunday.  It caused me to pause.  It caused me some discomfort.  It caused me to keep asking it of myself until I had an answer.

Am I growing in maturity?

I am obviously growing older.  My ability to bounce back from a night spent sleeping on the floor testifies of that.

But, am I maturing?  And much more specifically, am I maturing in my spiritual life?

I like to think of myself as a mature Christian.  I have for years now.  But, that simple question caused me to dig deep and sincerely evaluate my own growth.  It's not enough to be a "mature" Christian.  I need to be a "maturing" one.

And over the last three days, the Lord has been gracious to help me answer the question.  Yes, I am maturing.  But, I could be maturing faster if I would allow Him more room to work.  And that's going to cost me something.

It's going to cost a little more self-honesty.

It's going to cost some humility.

It's going to cost some time.

Because there are some trouble spots in my Christian walk.  Some places that I keep having to "go around the bush" again and again.  Some areas that I find myself repenting and starting over once more instead of being able to walk a new road, blaze a new trail in my spiritual thinking.

And it's these spots that need my honesty, some humility, and some time.

When I look back over my spiritual "maturing," I can see I've grown the most when I had an actual plan for growth.  When I submitted my thoughts to the Lord, received His response in return, and we hashed out a new way of looking at something together.

It's this pattern I want to see reproduced in my life.  This constant communication with the One who cares about my growth because of His great love for me.

That's why I'll be talking to Him about my trouble spots this week.  And coming up with a plan for growth. 

Because when I'm growing in maturity, I'm looking more and more like who I was born to be, and less and less like the flesh I won't settle for.

"Meanwhile, Jesus kept on growing wiser and more mature, and in favor with God and his fellow man."   - Luke 2:52 (ISV)

What Does the Bible Say About Offense?

I am very often reminded of how different God's thoughts are from my own.  (Isaiah 55:8-9)  But, probably never more than when I contemplate the command to forgive those who I perceive have wronged me.  

The root of offense that leads to the tree of bitterness is not in the mind of God.  Instead, He calls me to things that do not come naturally.  

What He asks of me is counter-intuitive and counter-culture, but never counter-effective, for His thoughts are in and of themselves abundant life and the power to overcome.

What are His thoughts, then, on offense?  What does He tell me to do when I am tempted to hold on to unforgiveness?

I have found there is a large portion of Scripture devoted to putting His thoughts before me on this very subject.  Here are just a few of His instructions...

 

…I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.  Ephesians 4: 1-3

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold….Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Ephesians 4:25-32

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.   Proverbs 15:1 

Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.  Proverbs 20:22 

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God…. If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.   James 1:19-26 

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.    Matthew 6:14-15

Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled…  Hebrews 12:14-15

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.  Proverbs 10:12

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  Romans 12:17-21

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.  Mark 11:25 

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.   1 John 4:8

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices….Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.  Colossians 3:5-14

You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.  Leviticus 19:18

Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.    Romans 14:10

The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.  Mark 12:31 

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.  Matthew 5:5-9 

If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well….So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.  James 2:8-13

And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.   If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful....   Luke 6:31-42

Complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others… Philippinas 2:2-8

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.    Romans 13:8-10

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.   John 13:34-35

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.   Matthew 18:21-22

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?   Matthew 5:43-48

Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.   Ecclesiastes 7:9

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.   Psalm 37:8-9

Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.  1 John 2:9-11

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?   James 4:11-12

Let brotherly love continue.   Hebrews 13:1

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.   Galatians 6:1-3

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.   Philippians 4:8-9

Porch Ponderings

I have a bad feeling the following confession makes me a lazy dog owner:  My favorite way to play fetch with our doggie is in the dark.  Not because it's more fun for her, but because she can't find her fetch toy in the dark.

And oh the joy of sitting on the porch in peace while she searches high and low.

Terrible, I know.  But, she really could avoid the trauma of the fifteen minute search if she would just get smart.  As it is, every time she sees me stand to throw the toy, she takes off running in any direction that strikes her fancy at the moment.  Not once has she ever waited to watch me throw the toy to see which direction it took flight.  Not once has she ever paused to listen for where the soft thud comes from as it lands.

Nope, she's already gone, usually sniffing in the complete opposite direction from where she needed to run.

And there I've sat many a night, drinking my coffee, often giggling to myself at her persistence in the search.  She usually finds it after a long time, but sometimes I eventually have to help her, walking over to where it sits. 

It's always been funny to me.  Until last night.

Because last night, it occurred to me to wonder if God sometimes finds himself sitting on His porch, wondering when I will take the time to ask Him what His plans are before I rush out to accomplish my own.

How many times has He wished I would pause and see which direction He is heading? 

How many times has He needed me to stop and listen to His voice instead of plunging ahead into darkness?

How many times has He had to come redirect my path to avoid the dangers I couldn't see or lead me to the blessings He had waiting for me?

I don't think I'll stop playing fetch in the dark with my sweet dog.  But, I'm thinking from now on I'll use those quiet moments on the porch to ask God what He's up to. 

And then I'll spend the rest of the time just listening.

The One and the Many

I had dinner under the stars last night.  It was a beautiful evening, with just the right amount of crisp, October air to warrant wearing my stylish new trench coat.  I sat and dined with my husband and a couple of close friends, eating gourmet dishes from an amazing local caterer.  It was a benefit dinner, so as I waited for my dessert and coffee, I listened.

I listened to a young man tell his story.  A story about hearing God's voice at the age of 19 telling him to go to Africa.  A story about obedience, because he went and his life was changed.  For it was there on that trip, which he funded himself, that the plan of God began to unfold for his life.  And what an amazing plan.

That young man is now married with three kids and another on the way.  And yet, he doesn't just provide for his family.  He now also feeds and educates over sixty African children in the slums of Nairobe, Kenya.

That young man who spends most of his time putting food on his own table through his own construction business also travels to Kenya once or twice a year, checking on and growing the school that employs four people and gives hope to children who otherwise would have grown up without it.

It all started when he met a girl named Agnes, who at the tender age of sixteen was providing for her entire family without the benefit of education.  He decided he could do something to help, so even while he still a college student, he began sending money for her to go to school.  And as the years went by, he began to provide education for more and more kids until he finally hired a pastor and a teacher and a cook and opened a school in Kenya.  He and his wife now oversee the non-profit organization called H.O.P.E., and are looking to buy property in Nairobi to open a permanent orphanage facility that will house the school.

And I was struck as I listened to him tell his story that he is just one man.  Just one ordinary man who saw a need so overwhelming that he decided to help just one person.  And through his obedience in helping just one, God is using him to change the course of an entire community. 

One became many. 

Dreams became reality, until he had to dream bigger.

And now he's outgrown his dreams again, so it's time to go back to dreaming bigger.

And as I ate my dessert and drank my coffee and looked at faces of children whose lives are being forever changed and marked by the Kingdom of God, I hear the question rolling around in my heart.

Who is your "one?"

Where is God calling you to obedience so that the "one" can become "many?"

What do you have to give that can be multiplied in the hands of a miracle working God?

If you've never asked yourself those questions, it's time.  The many are waiting for you.



Author's Note:  If you'd like to find out more about H.O.P.E., the school in Kenya that is making a difference in so many lives, please log on to their website here.

The Wrestling Match

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."  - Ephesians 4:29

My husband read this beautiful verse in a church staff meeting today.  He read it slowly, pausing to emphasize each phrase.  That's how the words "according to their needs" stuck out so profoundly.

I usually have a lot I could say.  (Most women do.)

I often have a lot of helpful things to say.

But, to say helpful things...at the right time...in order to meet someone else's needs?  That is the gift I want to be able to give, again and again, to everyone around me.

And so we did that, right there in staff meeting today.  We went around the room and shared what we admired, respected, and appreciated in each staff member. 

And it was amazing.

The entire atmosphere of the room changed.  We entered a slightly tired and more than slightly overworked group of people, and we left with smiles on our faces and a spring in the step.

Because needs were met.  The deep needs that everyone has.  The need for someone else to notice what you do and call it important.  The need to be appreciated.  The need to feel like you're a part of a community who values you as a person and would miss you if you weren't around.

And I've thought about it all day.  How easy it was, really, and yet how hard.  Hard to speak about the impact someone's had on your life when they're right there across the table from you, looking you in the eye.  Harder still to be spoken to and told how special you are in someone's life without feeling the need to deflect it or make a joke.

And why should it be so hard?  Why doesn't it come naturally to build up other people, every day, all the time?  Why doesn't it come naturally to allow ourselves to be built up by another person's words?

And why should it be that hard when gossip and sarcasm come so easily?

This last question must be answered, in every heart where Christ resides.  And not a passing, flippant answer should be given.  It must be wrestled with it until victory is won, with all the poisonous talons of the enemy rooted out and cast aside.  It must be dealt with soundly until Ephesians 4:29 becomes the standard of all thought and every word.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." 

May it be so, Lord.  May it be so in me.

Following Mary's Example

"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said."  (Luke 1:38)

It's probably because I'm a woman, but when I think of the miracle of the Savior's birth, I think a lot about Mary.  And I can't help but imagine how it must have felt to have your normal, village life turned upside down by the Almighty God in the space of a few moments, never to be the same again.

She was just a girl.  A girl in a sleepy town.  A girl with shy eyes cast upon a simple carpenter.  A girl who was known for goodness and kindness.  The kind of girl mothers hoped their daughters would be like and the kind of girl fathers advised their sons to find.

And then she was pregnant.  And everything was different, in the blink of an eye.

And she had to tell the simple carpenter.  And she had to endure his disbelief.  And even when God changed the carpenter's mind, and he came to support her, they had to bear the weight of an entire village's scorn on their own.  And she was no longer that kind of girl.  She was now "that kind of girl."

And then, just when it's time to be nesting and getting ready to hold her baby, there is a journey thrust upon them.  And the two of them, the carpenter and the girl, set off for a distant city.  There will be no familiar village midwife there.  There will be no home to rest in built by Joseph's own hands, a retreat from prying eyes.  There will be no mother there, no one to advise her in how to nurse a newborn.  It will just be the two of them.  And a baby.

And yet, when the time comes, and she holds Him in her arms, they are not alone.

The light of a star she has never seen before bathes her baby in His swaddling clothes with light.  There are the songs of angels on the air, singing a welcome to her little one.  There are shepherds, huddling in awe around the manger Joseph tried his best to clean before she laid their infant in the warmth of the hay.

And I can't help but compare her experience with mine.  When I think back fourteen years ago to the very young woman who birthed her firstborn, I remember a pregnancy filled with anxiousness, the kind that wonders if I have what it takes to be a good mother.  I remember a nervous husband who stroked my hand and cried because he could do nothing to help my pain.  I remember my hair in two braids, looking so young the nurses seemed to think I needed extra advice.  I remember desperately needing my mother in the days to follow, so grateful she was there to tell me what to do next. 

We are both humans, Mary and I.  And we birthed sons.  And we have both pondered those experiences deep within the recesses of our hearts.  But, the difference is, my son was not being born to save me.  He will not grow up to bear the weight of my sin.  I won't watch him die upon a cross.

And that, to me, is the miracle of Mary's life.  She carried the One who would make her world right again.  She birthed the One who would redeem her.

And she didn't have to.  She could have said no to the rejection, the agony, the pain of the whole experience.  It's true in doing that she would also have missed the joy that would be her reward, but she really could have played it safe when the angel came to give her the news that she had found favor in God's eyes.  I think God would have understood if she said no. 

But, she didn't.  She said yes to God.  She said yes, not knowing if Joseph would ever understand.  She said yes, not knowing how she would live, how she would provide for the Son of God.  She said yes not even understanding why God had chosen to do things this way.  She just said yes.

Mary was the only one chosen to birth the Messiah, but she is not the only one who is asked to do the impossible.  Every day, God comes to His children.  And He tells them they are favored.  And He says, "You're not going to understand it all right now, but I have a job for you."  And He waits for our answer.

"Yes, Lord.  Me, too.  Whatever you desire of me.  I say yes."