After 20 years of marriage, my husband and I have recently
had a new experience. A weekly day all
to ourselves. Technically, I guess it’s
not completely new. There were those 16
months we had alone before our first baby was born. But, that’s been so long ago, we can’t
remember much about them. And after
years of pre-schoolers and homeschoolers, we now have all of our kids in school
and also have the same day off from work.
Fridays. Fridays are the new Christmas.
Fridays. Fridays are the new Christmas.
Because that’s what it feels like. A gift!
Every single week. An entire day
of coffee, gym time, errands, lunch, laundry, naps, yard work. It doesn’t really matter what we do. It’s just a gift to have an entire day to be
together. To talk if we want to talk. To not talk if we want silence. To just be, even if we need to get things
done. To be together.
And I believe we consider it a gift because those moments
have been rare while raising four kids.
Not that I begrudge one moment of the crazy and the chaos of a big
family. I just appreciate the stillness
when it comes, and appreciate it even more when the man I fell in love with is
in the same room with me.
And the most joyful part of Fridays? Realizing we still love being in the same
room. Even after all these years of
working in the same office and growing the kids in the same house, I like
having him around. Another gift. Being alone with someone and still liking
them.
Every Monday, I already look forward to Friday.
And it occurred to me sometime today that there is someone
who feels that same way about me. Someone
who loves our alone time. Someone who
counts down the days until we can be together, just me and Him. Someone who still likes me, even though He’s
known me for forty years. Someone who
hasn’t even once gotten bored with me.
In this moment, I could listen to the guilty musings that I
don’t return His affection properly. I
could meditate on all the time wasted on trivial distractions instead of in His
presence. And I could try to fix it with
checklists and schedules.
Or I could just let Him woo me. Like a wife responding to the husband who adores
her and wants to spend the day with her.
I could turn from the crazy and the chaos and enter into the place where
He is. And the place where He is waiting
to be.
To be with me.
To be with me.
A list of discussion
topics for your time alone with your spouse, or maybe even for your time alone with
the One who loves you most:
* What is a dream you have for you?
* What is a dream you have for us?
* What is your favorite memory of us?
* What is the most beautiful place we’ve ever been together?
* Where would you most like to go together in the future?
* Why do you like me?
* Who do I remind you of?
* How would you most like to spend a day together, if money
or location was not an obstacle? (Then
make plans to get as close as you can to your dream, even if it means
substituting a local landmark for the Eiffel Tower.)
