Soul Food

I did it.  I did the thing I've been planning to do for months.  I took a day off and spent it alone, at home. 

I did what I wanted.  I didn't do what I didn't want to do.  I drank two cups of coffee instead of one and didn't even get dressed until after lunch, which I ate alone with only the sound of the dishwasher for company.  I played the piano.  I read a little.  I walked the dog.  I took a nap.  I wrote a poem. 

And I didn't want it to end.

It's that profound desire to hold on, to savor, that makes me wonder why I wait months and months to take a day that brings me so much joy and so much renewal. 

For some people, today would not have been a blessing.  They would rather have spent it in a crowd of friends, hiking, or maybe touring a vineyard.  And that's the thing, isn't it?  Our ability to discern what it is that both brings us peace and invigorates us at the same time is the point at which we have learned to pastor our own souls.  For too long, I stayed away from the seminary of my own heart, distracted by the need to perform and believing if I took time away to feed myself, I was selfishly robbing the people in my life of what they needed. 


But, time spent in regularly pastoring my soul keeps me from feeding others with empty hands and allows me to break off a piece of my wholeness and offer it freely, without fear that it is all I will have for tomorrow.

And so, I will not wait so long for the next time. 

Ode To A Day Home Alone

Creative stirrings make

lukewarm coffee as the bathrobe

spins out like a ballerina's chiffon,

the riverdance flowing around the living room rug,

and the dog sleeping on, unaware

of the freedom that comes with

solitude.

Favorite Things

My daughter watched the Sound of Music last night.  She was telling me this morning her favorite part is when Maria sits on the pinecone.  So many memories, that movie holds for me, since I watched it at least once a week, it seemed, while I was growing up.

And I think my favorite part has always been the "Favorite Things" song.  I'm pretty sure if the rest of my family experienced anything at least once a week, it was me singing that at the top of my lungs from behind my closed bedroom door.  It may or may not also be the reason my bed broke when I was nine, since I also tended to act out all of the children jumping on it with Maria as they sang.

"When the storm strikes, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel.....(getting up to full out gusto here)...so baaaaaaaaa----aaaaaaaa-------dddddd!"

It's a lovely song.

And probably the reason I have always believed in having a lot of favorite things.  Because if you have hundreds of favorite things, you can't help but happen upon them every day.  The more you have, the better your odds.

Which is why last summer, when our family was trapped inside on a rainy day, we played the Favorite Things game.  If you've never heard of it, I'll teach it to you, and you don't even have to click a link to connect to Pinterest or buy it on Amazon.  Here it is:

You each sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil and you have five minutes to write down all the favorite things you can think of.

Isn't that a brilliant game?  But the real fun comes in the sharing because when you're done writing, you go around the circle and share your favorite things.

I still have our lists because they are now some of my favorite things.  I mean it.  I treasure them.  Because in each list, I am allowed to peer into my husband and my children, into the deepest places of who they are and what makes them happy. 

And what I find there is that there aren't a lot of fancy cars or designer clothes on the list.  None actually.  Not any toys or technological gadgets, either.  What made the lists are just the simple things in life that all equal up to...us.  The hundreds of little things that are actually the great things.  The ordinary that is actually the sacred.

cheese and crackers
comfortable jeans
knowing the answer right away
making funny jokes
midnight cuddles because you're 5 and afraid of thunder
when the storm is over
chicks in a nest
grandparents
music
dessert
when mom is cooking macaroni
a baby's first word
honey and biscuits
father and son hikes
heaters in winter
victory
chickens that have feather pants
being pleasantly tired
learning another language
a sky full of stars
worshiping around a campfire
laughing at yourself
reading a good book
our dog's ears
gentle rain
oreos and milk
old friends
new friends
highlighted and underlined Bibles
worn quilts
fluffy towels
vacations
cherries
green grass
morning coffee
forgiveness

These are a few of our favorite things.  

Sweet Legacies

Something special has been happening in our house the last few weeks.  We've been remodeling our precious girl's bedroom.  Out with the old, and in with....the older.  My daughter now has a bedroom full of "vintage" furniture.  And it's hard to admit it's vintage...because it's my childhood furniture, and what does that make me?

My parents recently moved into a new home, just blocks away from us now instead of a forty-five minute drive.  And the move meant a downsize from three bedrooms to two.  A couple of days into packing, Mom called and asked if we wanted my old bedroom furniture.  I didn't hesitate to say yes.  No, we didn't really have room for it.  But yes,  I couldn't wait to make the room for something so special.

I can remember going with my parents to pick up that very furniture set when I was about six years old.  It was already "vintage" then, a hand-me-down from my mom's aunt and uncle.  Their last "little girl" had just gotten married and moved away, and they were doing some downsizing of their own.

So, home the furniture came with us.  It was white.  And feminine.  And full of drawers for stowing away all my treasures.

And it was my furniture from then on, right on through my high school years.  And then my sister's after that.

My nine year old was thrilled when we brought it home for her, even more so when I showed her my "secret cubby hole" in the desk where I stored my diary.  For the last week, she's been a faithful diary writer, determined to follow in my footsteps.

And when I look at that somewhat shabby furniture now, all squeezed into my daughter's room, I can't help picturing all the years of girls it has known.

Girls getting ready in the morning in front of that large dresser mirror.

Girls working through math problems at that desk.

Girls talking on the phone with their feet propped up on that nightstand.

And even while I look at a black haired girl bent over the desk today, I can picture another generation down the road, where it might be my granddaughter who's hiding her diary in the cubby hole.

Beaten up furniture. Every scratch with a story.  Every drawer holding treasures of memory. 

Sometimes old is better than new.

Finding the Time

I love summer.

I love it because it has this beautiful thing tucked away in its corners, a thing called time.

It's the summer months that time slows down, just enough to allow a deep breath to be drawn in the pauses.  Just enough to do the things you've spent the whole year dreaming about.  Just enough to be refreshed.

So, this summer, I'm making it a point to find the time. 

The tucked away time. 

Time to snuggle with my babies under the stars.

Time to do some family hiking.

Time to cook outside.

Time to sleep in and stay in our jammies until lunch.

Time to listen to the rain without thinking about the laundry.

Time to edit some photos and smile at the faces of my children.

Time to brush my daughter's hair and listen to her stories.

Time to read my Bible without a devotional agenda, just to listen.

Time to leave town with my family and turn off the cell phones.
 
Tucked away time.  What a treasure.

A Mama's Dream Come True?

Last Friday, something happened to me that hasn't happened in sixteen years.

I was alone.  At home.  I was home alone!

I had put my husband on a plane to Detroit on Wednesday, put my two teenagers on a church bus to New York on Thursday, and then I put my youngest two in a suburban making its way to church camp on Friday.

It was just me and the dog for a whole 24 hours.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I've never had any "get away" time.  I've gone away on mission trips, I've gone away for a weekend with my husband, and I've even gone away on a personal sabbatical.  But, to be at home all by myself?  It hadn't happened since the oldest child was born.  As a mother who homeschools during the junior high years, I haven't even had the daytime hours alone at home yet.  And I have to admit, it was something I've dreamed about a few times.  Everyone in the office kept asking me what I was going to do with myself.  I didn't have trouble figuring it out.

I went to lunch, by myself, and ended up chatting for half an hour with a woman I had never met.

I drove to the drive in and got myself a sweet tea.  And then I drank it all by myself, without one person asking for a sip.

I drove twenty miles away and went shopping in what my kids call a "foo-foo" store, browsing house wares and jewelry and garden décor for an hour, with no one asking me when we were going to leave.

I picked up frozen Chinese food at the supermarket and took it home to eat--in front of the television, something I never allow the kids to do.

I took a hot bath without one time having to shout, "Mom's in here!  You'll have to wait!"

I read an entire novel until the wee hours of the morning.

I woke up late and drank my coffee on the back porch in complete silence.

And after all this bliss, do you know what I did? 

I checked the clock, saw I was to pick up my husband at the airport in less than an hour, and praised God that I would only be alone for a few more minutes.  And then I counted up how many hours until all my chicks would be back in the nest, and felt my heart leap for joy.

I think I'm good for another sixteen years.

A Thankfulness Perspective

10,487 days have passed since I asked Jesus Christ to be my Savior...I am thankful for every day that He has made me more like Him.

6,040 days have passed since I said "I do" to the man who makes my soul complete...I am thankful for every day that has made me love him more.

5, 582 days have passed since I became a mother...I am thankful for every day that has seen children grow under my care.

Just 1,285 days will pass before our oldest will graduate from high school...I am thankful for every day he spends under this roof.

Just 3,476 days will pass before our youngest will graduate from high school...I am thankful for every day there are birds in this nest.

I am thankful for now.  For this moment.  For this good day.


"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."  - Psalm 118:24



Author's Note:  To calculate your own days of thankfulness, click here.

Simplify

There is always something refreshing to me about the whiteness of January.  It's a blank calendar page waiting for my notes on a new year.  It's a soft shade of light streaming in my windows, highlighting my newly bare shelves after all the Christmas decorations have been put away.  It's a chance to start fresh and to simplify.

It somehow makes me think back to all the things that were on my Christmas list and wonder why I thought I needed them, especially when I remember the pastor I met from Africa who was praying for a way to feed his children twice a day instead of just once.

It causes me to look at my dayplanner and ponder what is a true need and what is just something that will take me away from my children, the question growing more urgent when I remember how much their faces had changed in the Christmas photos this year compared to last.

It gives me reason to consider my checkbook to discern what it is I have considered treasure, for where my money is, there my heart is also.

And the words of the old spiritual find their way to my lips....

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus.

Simple ways to simplify:

• clean out your closet (or your kids' closets),  fill up a box with donations, and take them to a shelter for battered women
• make a list of your weekly obligations, pray over them, and listen to see if the Lord wants you to make some changes
• cancel your cable subscription; pray and ask where the Lord wants you to spend that money instead
• schedule a day to fast; when you complete it, schedule another one
• set one time when you will check your social media sites, and resolve not to check them at any other time in the day
• read The Beautiful Outlaw, by John Eldredge, and remember why you fell in love with Jesus

The Secret of Contentment

A few days ago, my little one asked me what contentment was. I answered her quickly, the words thrown over my shoulder as we loaded into the car and hurried on our way to the next have-to-be-there-quickly.


"It means to be happy with what you have and not always wanting something else," I told her.  She must have been satisfied with that response because she didn't question me further.


And then I found myself mulling it over for some reason.  Days later, and the word still rolls around and around in the back of my mind.


Contentment.


Paul speaks of it in terms of knowing a secret.  And it is a secret.  A rarely unearthed secret.


"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (Philippians 4:12)


In every situation.


If the status of my soul does not depend on my siutation, then what does it depend on?  My eyes drift upward on the page, searching, digging for the secret.


"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." (Philippians 4:4-9)


Rejoice.  The Lord is near.  Present your requests. Think about such things.  The God of peace will be with you.


What a treasure to unearth!  My contentment does not depend on my situation, it depends on where I center my thoughts.  I do not revolve around my circumstances; they revolve around my God.  And my God is near.


I love Him for that.