The Necessary Ache

Tonight, I tucked in an eight year old for the very last time.  Tomorrow, she turns nine.  And she's our last.

Which means we are to the "half way" point with our youngest.

And this mama heart of mine is full of gratitude for the joy these kids bring and at the same time full of something that makes my throat hurt. 

We are hurtling through time and space, these kids and their Daddy and me, flying past one milestone after another.  It's all a blur of growing and stretching and learning and messing up and learning some more and talking it through and laughing and learning some more and crying and holding and letting go and learning some more.

So the something in my throat that hurts is needed.

To make me stop. 

And breathe. 

And take it all in. 

And store up the memory. 

So that when I plunge back in to learn some more, I remember why we're doing this after all.